I'm so excited I started my day off right with exercise!! I wanted to last week and just wasn't making it happen. I've been off my groove but want to run the 5K on Thanksgiving. So I set a goal for myself this morning of running one mile without stopping and I did it!! I really needed that "little success." 3.1 miles, here I come!!!
Then I came home and turned into "ugly mom." Dang it and the day started out so well. I ran Abi to school then came home to pick up Porter and Hayden for their schools. I asked Porter to grab his history book so I could make some copies while I waited for him. He grabbed last years, (seriously????) and then couldn't find this years. I just lost it. One I was mad at him for just flat out not knowing where his materials were and frustrated because I was trying to be organized and proactive and it wasn't working the way I'd hoped. We went up to his room which was such a disaster. We looked for it and couldn't find it so I told him he'd have to miss karate and we needed to get this room and his schooling better under control.
He was not happy about missing Karate and tore in his room. It was about time. I decided that his room just wasn't functioning well. He has a full size bed that he doesn't want to share with Hayden and a dresser that is falling apart. I'd got a check unexpectedly from a mixed up tax return and some money from students so I didn't need to take much out of our account to go and buy the boys the bunk beds they'd been needing. I had already been looking, so I marched in the store, told them exactly what I wanted and bought what the boys needed. I felt like I'd bit the head off that dang frog and was close to downing the rest of him. I'm starting to just attack projects and it feels great. The boys are so excited!!
I picked up Hayden from school, took the kids to Chinese, picked up guitar picks and bought a bunk bed and dresser all in about 90 mins. I then met with one of my students and got a phone call while I was with him.
It was a mom of one of my other students, I asked her if everything was ok, and she said not really. I told her I'd call her back. Do you ever have times in your life when someone elses challenges help you figure out your own? I knew I wasn't doing a very good job following up with Porter and wasnt' exactly sure how to handle it. This mom was telling me about her daughter and the challenges she was facing. As I talked to her and discussed some possible solutions, it helped me figure out what to do for Porter. I started sharing with her some things I'd learned on leadership. Are you all ready for a whole new list of books, LOL!!?? The first one I love is called "Bringing out the best in others." It teaches that people will do what ever it takes to get attention. But the worst thing we can do to any human being is to no feedback at all. It is better to give negative feedback than none. In fact it is used as a torture method, put someone in a room with no lights, no stimulation and no human contact and they will snap far faster than someone being physically tortured.
As we talked I shared with her how she needed to not react at all when she was doing something that would constitute a normal negative response, but give her a system for getting a positive response and respond big then when she did accomplish "X." So for example, if she does her math homework sloppy, just ask her to re-do it until it's done right with not reaction and then when it is, sing her praises. We also talked about that everyone needs different kinds of positive responses or love. Thus a discussion on the "5 love languages" began. If she understood what her language was, she might behave less needy she not constantly crave attention and affirmation.
As Abi has been in the dual language program, the last thing that clicked for her was the speaking part. I made a calendar for her with 1-5 in each box. Her teacher would then circle one of the numbers to represent he effort. After she earned so many points she got to pick a reward. We discussed this further and how important it is to praise "hard work" vs "intelligence or talent" because it has a huge impact on how they handle challenges as they arise. The one who knows they can work hard, stick to a challenge. The one who thinks they are "smart" will get easily discouraged when it no longer comes easily.
So, I decided for Porter I'd make him a chart and for each things he needs to accomplish each day he'll get a a score that reflects his efforts and we'd come up with a reward in the end. Of course, this is yet another habit that I have to create and follow up will be essential!! Luckily if the reward is big enough, they remember to bring the work and chart to you. I'm so grateful for the phone call today!!
One of the things on my list is to have the carpets cleaned. I love how the universe will help you when you are focused on your goals!! I got a knocked at the door and a gentleman was advertising for carpet cleaning, I invited him in and discussed what he could do for me and set a date for the cleaning!! Woo hoo, I can't wait! As we talked I learned more about his background. I shared with him what Neil does and told him that we were looking for salespeople. Him and possibly his brother are going to come to our business training tomorrow night. This gentleman had a MBA and had grown up on a farm. Thus he has the farming know how and is good at business. This could be a great fit. It will be fun to see how this turns out!
We carved pumpkins tonight and before I could do that, I did something I'm not good at, getting right up and cleaning the kitchen after dinner. It felt great to have it done and to not have to think about it the rest of the night. New habits, woo hoo.... just have to keep at it!!
I am proud of the fact that I tossed so much out this weekend the I filled the garbage can that was just emptied on Friday. Hmmmmm, maybe I should say I'm embarrassed to say I had that much to toss out, and quite frankly I know there is more to go!!! LOL
To bed I go so I can keep at those goals tomorrow. I hope you enjoy this week; carving pumpkins, making caramel apples, playing dress up and trick or treating!! This is my favorite time of the year!!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
systems and/or habits
One of my favorite books is called, "The Power of Focus." I have to give a thank you here. My dearest brother Matt bought and sent this book to me years ago. He is truly a great example and inspiration to me. He is one of the best!! I've poured over it so many times its starting to fall apart. So I was incredibly thrilled when I found "The Power of Focus for Women" the other day. I haven't gotten very far into, but the parts I did read were great. It even has a small comment on each chapter on "How men see it." I love it, it helps me to understand where they are coming from and how to better support them in their goals.
What I love about my job is how I teach people, any thing you want to do differently involves making changes. So many people are hard on themselves when they feel like they fail at starting a new exercise routine, a financial plan etc.... But creating a new habit is difficult and we can only stop a bad habit by replacing it with a new one. When one understands this, we can all be kinder to ourselves and simply take the time to learn the skills to make those changes.
My days are very full (as is everyone), so I desperately need to take my list of "to dos" and figure out if there is a specific time I can do each thing and make it a habit or what I can do to make some parts of my life a little more systematic.
The simple fact is that I have to start getting up earlier!! It just has to happen. So I'm so happy I've been able to stop watching TV because I have to get to bed earlier to make that happen. So I'm am part way there already.
Some areas of my life I want to create some systems/habits for;
-food prep
-house cleaning
-financial
-bill paying
-retirement preparation
-work - my business
-cleaning the car
-homeschooling
Just like everyone, there are some things I'm doing well in these areas and yet there are things I'd greatly like to improve on!!!
What I love about my job is how I teach people, any thing you want to do differently involves making changes. So many people are hard on themselves when they feel like they fail at starting a new exercise routine, a financial plan etc.... But creating a new habit is difficult and we can only stop a bad habit by replacing it with a new one. When one understands this, we can all be kinder to ourselves and simply take the time to learn the skills to make those changes.
My days are very full (as is everyone), so I desperately need to take my list of "to dos" and figure out if there is a specific time I can do each thing and make it a habit or what I can do to make some parts of my life a little more systematic.
The simple fact is that I have to start getting up earlier!! It just has to happen. So I'm so happy I've been able to stop watching TV because I have to get to bed earlier to make that happen. So I'm am part way there already.
Some areas of my life I want to create some systems/habits for;
-food prep
-house cleaning
-financial
-bill paying
-retirement preparation
-work - my business
-cleaning the car
-homeschooling
Just like everyone, there are some things I'm doing well in these areas and yet there are things I'd greatly like to improve on!!!
Day 7
The kids were sick so we stayed home from church. I took that time to keep working on my office. I made a bold decision and have chosen to finally get rid of all my Jewels by Park Lane supplies. I took a deep breath and tossed everything that was old and called a gal I knew who is selling and told her that if she'd just come and get them out of my house, she could have all my business supplies. Big sigh....... I really love working with my students and hope to find more and more students. Having this "maybe" career hanging in my office wasn't helping me go after my goals. I have an empty shelving unit now that I can work with.
I went through lots of paperwork that had been in piles. I don't know what I was thinking or rather not thinking. I've got to get some systems in place. I'm working on it and it feels good.
I updated my calendar between my phone and my computer, looked at my up-coming week, and list of things to do tonight. In addition, I make a menu plan and chore schedule for the kids. Now I've just got to get my self to keep doing this weekly!! I'm going to set myself an alarm on my phone and remind myself. It's all about habits!
Neil and I had an agreement to watch our favorite shows together on the weekends, so when he got home from his trip we watched football and Castle. Its a small thing, but I know I need to keep my word about stuff like that.
My week is so full, not only the days, but I have something scheduled every single night, but hopefully I'm a little more prepared. I've also written in time to keep working on my "regroup" and my Saturday is completely open. Bring on the new week!!
I went through lots of paperwork that had been in piles. I don't know what I was thinking or rather not thinking. I've got to get some systems in place. I'm working on it and it feels good.
I updated my calendar between my phone and my computer, looked at my up-coming week, and list of things to do tonight. In addition, I make a menu plan and chore schedule for the kids. Now I've just got to get my self to keep doing this weekly!! I'm going to set myself an alarm on my phone and remind myself. It's all about habits!
Neil and I had an agreement to watch our favorite shows together on the weekends, so when he got home from his trip we watched football and Castle. Its a small thing, but I know I need to keep my word about stuff like that.
My week is so full, not only the days, but I have something scheduled every single night, but hopefully I'm a little more prepared. I've also written in time to keep working on my "regroup" and my Saturday is completely open. Bring on the new week!!
The scrapbook supply delema
As much as I at one time loved to scrapbook and as much as I need a hobby and a creative outlet, it's just not going to be scrapbooking ever again. Well, I would actually like to do some online scrapbook booking and have books printed, but they definitely don't cost any more than the supplies do and I think after practicing it would take less time.
What I'd love to do is learn more about taking better and more creative pictures. I loved scrapbooking at one time and I love to look at others work! Its fun, creative and preserves memories. But I want to learn how to take a more captivating picture and worry less about the embellishments that go with it. That just where I'm at.
Now what do I do with all the stuff I'm accumulated. Scrapbooking and stamping has served me well in the past. I made a living with it, made lots of friends and even did some traveling because if it. I've got most of my stash at a discount, but I still have accumulated way too much stuff that I doubt highly I'll ever use or miss most of it. I want it out of my house. I seriously don't want to take the time to do a garage sale or ebay it. I wonder if Craig list is easier and/or faster. I'd love for someone to come buy the whole stash and they can ebay it to their hearts content etc... I have lots of stamps, stickers, paper, die cuts (fonts and shapes), embellishments, the list goes on! I think I'll start with getting in all in one spot and then think about advertising on Craig's list. If anyone has a better idea or even wants to take it off my hands, let me know.
I know I'll keep some of the paper, that I can use for dream boards with my students, but the rest needs to go.
Why do we hang on to stuff? There is nothing like going through a box, a drawer etc... and finding stuff we forget we ever had. Sometimes I think any box I haven't opened in the garage for over a year I should just toss without even looking inside. If I haven't needed if for a year, I probably won't ever need it. Hmmmm.... I have some tough love to do with myself.
What I'd love to do is learn more about taking better and more creative pictures. I loved scrapbooking at one time and I love to look at others work! Its fun, creative and preserves memories. But I want to learn how to take a more captivating picture and worry less about the embellishments that go with it. That just where I'm at.
Now what do I do with all the stuff I'm accumulated. Scrapbooking and stamping has served me well in the past. I made a living with it, made lots of friends and even did some traveling because if it. I've got most of my stash at a discount, but I still have accumulated way too much stuff that I doubt highly I'll ever use or miss most of it. I want it out of my house. I seriously don't want to take the time to do a garage sale or ebay it. I wonder if Craig list is easier and/or faster. I'd love for someone to come buy the whole stash and they can ebay it to their hearts content etc... I have lots of stamps, stickers, paper, die cuts (fonts and shapes), embellishments, the list goes on! I think I'll start with getting in all in one spot and then think about advertising on Craig's list. If anyone has a better idea or even wants to take it off my hands, let me know.
I know I'll keep some of the paper, that I can use for dream boards with my students, but the rest needs to go.
Why do we hang on to stuff? There is nothing like going through a box, a drawer etc... and finding stuff we forget we ever had. Sometimes I think any box I haven't opened in the garage for over a year I should just toss without even looking inside. If I haven't needed if for a year, I probably won't ever need it. Hmmmm.... I have some tough love to do with myself.
Day 6
An entire day with very few "have to dos!" I'm so excited. Abi has a ride to Nutcracker practice and I just have to pick her up. Time to get to work!!!!
My friend Bev had helped me get the stuff in my pantry all in Tupperware containers. The problem was I hadn't labeled any of the containers, so as I ran out of stuff, I'd forget what I was suppose to buy and replace it with. I also had some extra containers that I hadn't put stuff in yet and then boxes of stuff you get from Costco that never really fits very good anywhere. The pantry was a mess. Abi helped me and we started pulling everything out of it. It was now time to use my new fancy label maker!! Woo hoo.
Note to anyone buying a label maker that I'm discovered the hard way. Look to see the order the letters are in. This probably sounds simple enough and like a good idea, the letters are in order from A-Z. Well, I'm use to typing both on a computer and on my Blackberry. My fingers instantly go to where they think they should be on a keyboard and my brain does not think to look for them in alphabetical order. If I had it to do again, I'd buy a label maker with a keypad that's the same as a keyboard.
I labeled and filled and labeled and filled. It looks amazing!!! I'm just tickled pink with how it looks and how much easier it will be to find things now. I called Bev because I wanted some one to come "oohhh and awweee" with me over my accomplishment. She was so incredibly sweet, not only did she come humor me, she also brought me lunch and me with so other projects I was attacking in the kitchen. She stayed with the babies while I went to get Abi which was a huge help considering there was some paperwork I needed to turn in.
As Bev helped me I could help but feel a little humble. She was a friend I had taken the time to visit with earlier in the week. I was trying to decide how I'd felt about my decision. Part of my goal for the 30 days was to say "no" to pretty much anything that wasn't life threatening. No socializing and not feeling it was necessary to take on any service project that came my way. But one of the things I learned is that if I pick how and when I serve and chose to serve versus using it as an excuse to avoid my "need to do" list, then it all works out in the end. We don't always end up served by the person we served especially so immediately. I believe that much of life is a pay it forward kind of thing. We do a good deed and when we are in need of a good deed the person we need most will be there.
The kitchen counters are now cleaned off completely and I de-junked the top of the refrigerator. Why do people think they can just pile stuff there.
I then moved back to the office and kept working there. I have a 3 draw Rubbermaid container that had a bunch of stuff from one of my other lives, my scrap booking and stamping days. Seriously, what and I going to do with all these little zip lock bags, blank gift bags and other misc crap. The office is coming along. I need some really good ideas for filing. there is paperwork I'm just not sure how I want to sort and store. I just have to keep tackling one challenge at a time.
My friend Bev had helped me get the stuff in my pantry all in Tupperware containers. The problem was I hadn't labeled any of the containers, so as I ran out of stuff, I'd forget what I was suppose to buy and replace it with. I also had some extra containers that I hadn't put stuff in yet and then boxes of stuff you get from Costco that never really fits very good anywhere. The pantry was a mess. Abi helped me and we started pulling everything out of it. It was now time to use my new fancy label maker!! Woo hoo.
Note to anyone buying a label maker that I'm discovered the hard way. Look to see the order the letters are in. This probably sounds simple enough and like a good idea, the letters are in order from A-Z. Well, I'm use to typing both on a computer and on my Blackberry. My fingers instantly go to where they think they should be on a keyboard and my brain does not think to look for them in alphabetical order. If I had it to do again, I'd buy a label maker with a keypad that's the same as a keyboard.
I labeled and filled and labeled and filled. It looks amazing!!! I'm just tickled pink with how it looks and how much easier it will be to find things now. I called Bev because I wanted some one to come "oohhh and awweee" with me over my accomplishment. She was so incredibly sweet, not only did she come humor me, she also brought me lunch and me with so other projects I was attacking in the kitchen. She stayed with the babies while I went to get Abi which was a huge help considering there was some paperwork I needed to turn in.
As Bev helped me I could help but feel a little humble. She was a friend I had taken the time to visit with earlier in the week. I was trying to decide how I'd felt about my decision. Part of my goal for the 30 days was to say "no" to pretty much anything that wasn't life threatening. No socializing and not feeling it was necessary to take on any service project that came my way. But one of the things I learned is that if I pick how and when I serve and chose to serve versus using it as an excuse to avoid my "need to do" list, then it all works out in the end. We don't always end up served by the person we served especially so immediately. I believe that much of life is a pay it forward kind of thing. We do a good deed and when we are in need of a good deed the person we need most will be there.
The kitchen counters are now cleaned off completely and I de-junked the top of the refrigerator. Why do people think they can just pile stuff there.
I then moved back to the office and kept working there. I have a 3 draw Rubbermaid container that had a bunch of stuff from one of my other lives, my scrap booking and stamping days. Seriously, what and I going to do with all these little zip lock bags, blank gift bags and other misc crap. The office is coming along. I need some really good ideas for filing. there is paperwork I'm just not sure how I want to sort and store. I just have to keep tackling one challenge at a time.
Day 5
Neil has been working 12 + hour days for months now. It's just that time of year when you are in agriculture. I planned a weekend for him and Porter away. My dear friend let them take her camper and I found a great place where the boys could camp, golf and fish. I think its called Cascade Peaks if I remember right, in Randle, WA.
I busily got them ready on Friday morning by going shopping, packing etc... I had students coming at 2 and needed to pick Abi up from school and take her to dance at 3. I knew after that I could get to work!!!
I had thought about tearing into the upstairs, but the more I thought about it I decided the kitchen would become my project for a good part of the weekend. After finally getting home from dance, getting dinner and checking on Neil and Porter, I put Lexi to bed, and ran to McDonald's for some a diet Dr. Pepper. I thought if I could just stay up a good part of the night and work without kids under foot I'd get a lot done.
When we moved here I was still running a business and was pregnant 3 days later. So I didn't have the energy or time I needed when I unpacked in an orderly fashion. I've never been happy with the way I organized the kitchen and it's been making me crazy for a while. I started with the cupboard that had the spices and meds in it. Man I tossed a lot of stuff. That sure needed to be done long before now. I kept moving and was doing pretty good. I'd heard Lexi wake up once and fuss for a bit and I thought she'd gone back to sleep. I heard her again about midnight and decided I should go check on her. As soon as I opened the door I could smell she'd been sick. Curdled milk all in her hair and all over her bed. Poor girl.
I bathed her and sat on the couch with her and watched a movie until I thought she'd go back to sleep. It wasn't the way I hoped to end the day, but I still got a good start on the kitchen.
I busily got them ready on Friday morning by going shopping, packing etc... I had students coming at 2 and needed to pick Abi up from school and take her to dance at 3. I knew after that I could get to work!!!
I had thought about tearing into the upstairs, but the more I thought about it I decided the kitchen would become my project for a good part of the weekend. After finally getting home from dance, getting dinner and checking on Neil and Porter, I put Lexi to bed, and ran to McDonald's for some a diet Dr. Pepper. I thought if I could just stay up a good part of the night and work without kids under foot I'd get a lot done.
When we moved here I was still running a business and was pregnant 3 days later. So I didn't have the energy or time I needed when I unpacked in an orderly fashion. I've never been happy with the way I organized the kitchen and it's been making me crazy for a while. I started with the cupboard that had the spices and meds in it. Man I tossed a lot of stuff. That sure needed to be done long before now. I kept moving and was doing pretty good. I'd heard Lexi wake up once and fuss for a bit and I thought she'd gone back to sleep. I heard her again about midnight and decided I should go check on her. As soon as I opened the door I could smell she'd been sick. Curdled milk all in her hair and all over her bed. Poor girl.
I bathed her and sat on the couch with her and watched a movie until I thought she'd go back to sleep. It wasn't the way I hoped to end the day, but I still got a good start on the kitchen.
Weekly successes
I'm excited about how things are going and quite frankly very grateful for those of you following. It's like my own little support group. We all need someone to answer to now and then. I always joke there is a reason Weight Watchers makes so much money.
One small success that I'm happy to report is that I never once turned on the TV for my own personal enjoyment. As a baby sitter for the little ones, heck yeah!! Wish I could say I don't do that, but guilty!!! I didn't watch a single one of my nightly shows. This gave Neil and I a lot more time to talk and work through some things. It also gave me more time to work, helped me stay more focused and I went to bed at a better hour on the nights Neil and I didn't stay up talking.
I did make a deal with Neil that we could watch our shows on line on the weekend. He went out of town this weekend so I treated myself to Grey's Anatomy last night. It was great, less commercials and I didn't end up staying in front of the TV to just watching what ever came on next.
I learned I can live without Dancing with the Stars, Modern Family and Biggest Loser. That's a lot of hours saved and I'm happy to say I'm starting a new habit. This week should be easier and the next week even easier. It's all about creating successful habits.
One small success that I'm happy to report is that I never once turned on the TV for my own personal enjoyment. As a baby sitter for the little ones, heck yeah!! Wish I could say I don't do that, but guilty!!! I didn't watch a single one of my nightly shows. This gave Neil and I a lot more time to talk and work through some things. It also gave me more time to work, helped me stay more focused and I went to bed at a better hour on the nights Neil and I didn't stay up talking.
I did make a deal with Neil that we could watch our shows on line on the weekend. He went out of town this weekend so I treated myself to Grey's Anatomy last night. It was great, less commercials and I didn't end up staying in front of the TV to just watching what ever came on next.
I learned I can live without Dancing with the Stars, Modern Family and Biggest Loser. That's a lot of hours saved and I'm happy to say I'm starting a new habit. This week should be easier and the next week even easier. It's all about creating successful habits.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)