One of the things I have accomplished was a regrouping with Porter. I knew he wasn't working as hard in homeschool and in Chinese as he could. The one thing Porter is known for is his work ethic. The coaches always adore Porter for that. He may not have the most natural talent, but he works circles around most of the other kids. He always get the award for hardest worker or most improved.
Porter and I went to lunch on Saturday. I took a notepad and these are some of the things we discussed.
- we wrote down all his activities, subjects in school and responsibilities
- I asked him what his three favorite were (one was swimming of course, but then shocked to find out that math and science came before any other things I'd consider fun. What an amazing kid)
- I asked him which things he'd like to have the most improvement in
- I asked him which ones he's needing the most help with
- we discussed if there were any he would rather not be doing
- we discussed what he liked about each one
- we make a weekly calendar fit in the things he wanted to do
- we came up with an incentive plan to stay on task (an i-pad, he'll have to work diligently for 6 months to earn it, but he's excited)
- I asked him how things were with friends
- I asked him if there was anything he was concerned about with our family
- I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk to me about
I'm proud to say it never got confrontational and we came to some great solutions and l learned more about Porter than I knew before. We came up with a point system to help him earn his i-pad. He truly has important things to do in this life. I'm so blessed to have him as my son!!
Last night he asked me if I had his chart made up for him. He's been getting up earlier and seems to be acting more like the Porter I knew was in him. He also told me he was going to ask the swim coach if he can practice longer sets. He has added 2 longer sets a week and wants to bump it to 4. He also had his homework for Thursday done by Tuesday without being reminded. Things are on the up swing with him!! Woo hoo!! Now time for me to do my job and follow up. He will also spend some time this weekend on the computer looking at the i-pad and all the things it does to keep his motivation up.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Then comes mercy, God's tenderness and confirmation
As hard as I tried I couldn't get out of my funk. I was getting discourage at my lack of energy and enthusiasm for much of anything. I couldn't get myself back to the gym, I didn't want to work on my "regroup" project anymore, my spark felt like it had been blown out.
Monday night Neil mentioned that one of our original salespeople had called him and told him that he had tried to get out of his comfort zone and make new contacts. That was a delight to hear. But then Wednesday the phone rang and it was this same salesman, "Michelle, I just called you to eat a little crow." I laughed a little and said "Oh yeah, I heard you had a good experience yesterday." "Well yeah, but today was actually even better." He proceeded to tell me about his day and how some of my advice that he had dug his heals in against had actually helped him. I didn't do any "I told you so's" like his was worried I would, but congratulated him with a great deal of enthusiasm. I was simply thrilled for him. One of my greatest joys truly is to help others find success in what ever goal they may have. I was so thrilled for him!!!
I knew our new salesperson was having an appointment that evening so I called him to wish him luck. He later called that night to tell us that the appointment was a success, that the farmer wanted to meet with Neil and get just a little more info, but the meeting was a success!!! Things were finally starting to look up.
I after talking to both of the other two salespeople I kept getting the feeling I should make a call to the third salesperson to see how he was doing and if there was anything we could do to help. As a side note, the salespeople had all given me a little bit of a hard time about knowing much of anything that they hadn't already heard before. I just kind of laughed to myself and thought, "They'll feel differently after I share what I know and understand." All our salespeople have both regular jobs and then have taken on this as a "privately contracted salesperson." We got to talking about his regular job and asked me basically if I thought I might be able to help him in that area too. It was a huge compliment!!!! I told him I'd love to and was scheduled an appointment to get together.
In addition to having some good reports from our salespeople, I had taught my youth class on Tues. As I walked into class the girls had written on the board, "Success skills rocks." They are so cute. Each girl had commented that this was their favorite class. As great as that is for my ego, the greatest gift yesterday was when I asked them to write down their top three goals. Most people are a little nervous about sharing their goals in front of others. These girls were of course the same way in the beginning. I called on one of the girls and asked her if she'd share her goals. She said quickly and with a smile, "sure!" I was in shock. These gals had come so far, they trusted not only me but also each other and they were excited to dream, set goals and make those goals happen. I had them each write on a calendar exactly when they were going to do the activities they needed to to fulfill their goals. There was no hesitation and they worked diligently. I was brimming with joy. I'm truly looking forward to finding ways to do more "group" teaching. I knew how one on one teaching worked, but it was the confirmation I needed that a group setting could work too.
By last night I was finally starting to feel more like myself and had hope that I'd finally figure out "what I was suppose to be when I grew up." LOL I have wanted to be able to train people in any area of life when it came to goals in addition to any area of sales. I love training and it gives me such a natural high. I feel like I'm moving in the right direction and am so grateful for the tender mercies we are offered when we are in a low place.
I'm happy to say I've continued to keep the TV off and been on FB very little. Last night Porter had been reading comics in the newspaper and had found a sudoku puzzle. He came and asked if I knew how to do it. For anyone that knows me knows that I am really lousy at sitting down and playing games. I'll even avoid baby showers because I hate games so much. But I can tolerate many games if they involve numbers. I'm such a geek!! Porter and I had a delightful time together figuring out the puzzle. I'm quite certain that wouldn't have happened had the TV been on. Those little successes are things I'm going to be proud of myself for and get back to my 30 day regroup. Life doesn't always go smoothly, but how well we ride the turbulence can make a big difference. For anyone feeling discouraged like I have been, another one of my favorite books is "Failing Forward." I listened to it this morning as I worked out. It was great to be reminded that there are no failures in life, just learning experiences. And if we are seeing something as a failure, that surely doesn't make US a failure. We are all children of our Heavenly Father.
Monday night Neil mentioned that one of our original salespeople had called him and told him that he had tried to get out of his comfort zone and make new contacts. That was a delight to hear. But then Wednesday the phone rang and it was this same salesman, "Michelle, I just called you to eat a little crow." I laughed a little and said "Oh yeah, I heard you had a good experience yesterday." "Well yeah, but today was actually even better." He proceeded to tell me about his day and how some of my advice that he had dug his heals in against had actually helped him. I didn't do any "I told you so's" like his was worried I would, but congratulated him with a great deal of enthusiasm. I was simply thrilled for him. One of my greatest joys truly is to help others find success in what ever goal they may have. I was so thrilled for him!!!
I knew our new salesperson was having an appointment that evening so I called him to wish him luck. He later called that night to tell us that the appointment was a success, that the farmer wanted to meet with Neil and get just a little more info, but the meeting was a success!!! Things were finally starting to look up.
I after talking to both of the other two salespeople I kept getting the feeling I should make a call to the third salesperson to see how he was doing and if there was anything we could do to help. As a side note, the salespeople had all given me a little bit of a hard time about knowing much of anything that they hadn't already heard before. I just kind of laughed to myself and thought, "They'll feel differently after I share what I know and understand." All our salespeople have both regular jobs and then have taken on this as a "privately contracted salesperson." We got to talking about his regular job and asked me basically if I thought I might be able to help him in that area too. It was a huge compliment!!!! I told him I'd love to and was scheduled an appointment to get together.
In addition to having some good reports from our salespeople, I had taught my youth class on Tues. As I walked into class the girls had written on the board, "Success skills rocks." They are so cute. Each girl had commented that this was their favorite class. As great as that is for my ego, the greatest gift yesterday was when I asked them to write down their top three goals. Most people are a little nervous about sharing their goals in front of others. These girls were of course the same way in the beginning. I called on one of the girls and asked her if she'd share her goals. She said quickly and with a smile, "sure!" I was in shock. These gals had come so far, they trusted not only me but also each other and they were excited to dream, set goals and make those goals happen. I had them each write on a calendar exactly when they were going to do the activities they needed to to fulfill their goals. There was no hesitation and they worked diligently. I was brimming with joy. I'm truly looking forward to finding ways to do more "group" teaching. I knew how one on one teaching worked, but it was the confirmation I needed that a group setting could work too.
By last night I was finally starting to feel more like myself and had hope that I'd finally figure out "what I was suppose to be when I grew up." LOL I have wanted to be able to train people in any area of life when it came to goals in addition to any area of sales. I love training and it gives me such a natural high. I feel like I'm moving in the right direction and am so grateful for the tender mercies we are offered when we are in a low place.
I'm happy to say I've continued to keep the TV off and been on FB very little. Last night Porter had been reading comics in the newspaper and had found a sudoku puzzle. He came and asked if I knew how to do it. For anyone that knows me knows that I am really lousy at sitting down and playing games. I'll even avoid baby showers because I hate games so much. But I can tolerate many games if they involve numbers. I'm such a geek!! Porter and I had a delightful time together figuring out the puzzle. I'm quite certain that wouldn't have happened had the TV been on. Those little successes are things I'm going to be proud of myself for and get back to my 30 day regroup. Life doesn't always go smoothly, but how well we ride the turbulence can make a big difference. For anyone feeling discouraged like I have been, another one of my favorite books is "Failing Forward." I listened to it this morning as I worked out. It was great to be reminded that there are no failures in life, just learning experiences. And if we are seeing something as a failure, that surely doesn't make US a failure. We are all children of our Heavenly Father.
I knew it wouldn't be all smooth sailing, but honestly......
After day eight I was well aware I wouldn't accomplish much on my "regrouping" project. I knew when I started this that even though I was committed to not taking on more projects and saying no where I could, that I still had several commitments that I needed to fulfill. Tues-Thurs was back to back appointments, meetings and social engagements. I was getting through those days pretty well. I loved the things I was doing, from classes I was teaching on Success Skills to meetings and events with Soroptimist. I then was blessed to meet a gentleman who wanted to clean my carpet. At first I was simply excited to get that off my check list. But as we talked I realized that he might be a great salesperson for Neil's agronomy business. We chatted for a bit and as I realized that he had a farming background and a MBA, I looked at him and said straight out, "Listen, I believe that sometimes we are meant to meet certain people in our lives. Can I tell you a little bit about what my husband is doing?" He said sure and as I explained to him he seemed rather interested and I invited him to the training on had the next night with the other salespeople.
He arrived before the other salespeople arrived and that gave him and Neil some time to talk. He showed him the program and he was texting people about it before he even left the room. It was exciting to see his proactive way of going about things.
We then met with him and his brother the next day to see if it was something he's be interested in. It was great to see the enthusiasm and "go get 'em" attitude they had.
On Thursday as I ran about doing the Taxi driver thing and holding the appointments I had, I received an email on my phone just 30 mins before a Soroptimist "new member" meetings I was attending. I had 2 guests coming and wanted to be on my game. As I read the email I was a bit taken back. Let me step back and explain a few things. Currently a majority of the students I have are homeschool students that participate in programs connected with the state. By doing that they receive funding to help pay for classes, activities, books, learning programs etc.... That is how most of my students are thus paying me. But I was having the "World Language House" bill them. I was a teacher for the WLH and thus they bill the homeschool organizations and WLH keeps a cut for doing the paper work. I was teaching both classes at the WLH and private one on one classes. Back to the email.... I get an email from the WLH stating that my private students weren't covered under her liability insurance, so she wouldn't do the billing for me and all the work I'd done that month outside the WLH wouldn't be paid for and neither would any in the future. There was absolutely no discussion of options, phone call anything. It was dropped like a bomb and then an email went out to the parents directly after mine and so within 5 mins of getting the email I was getting phone calls from parents asking what was going on.
I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. These students mean the world to me and I put my heart into my work and love to see the kids develop their talents.
To make a long story short and went and confronted her face to face because I was so discussed with her lack of professionalism and sending this out as an email. She expressed her concerns basically accused me of not being qualified to do what I did and even questioned what it is I teach the students. This after helping her with her business for months for free.
I wanted so much to not let what she had said bother me, to just roll with it. I stopped and thought about each and every student I'd worked with. I knew the successes each had had. I knew the comments the parents had made and their feelings on the changes their children had made. I know I always can learn more and do better, but I also knew I had provided good service and made a difference. I had to slow down and digest and brainstorm. I watched several movies, ate too much chocolate and cried for 24-48 hours then put on my thinking cap.
I love working with homeschoolers and I can get licensed so that I can bill directly for the homeschoolers. That can all be "fixed" but I can go back and be paid for the work I've already done. Oh well...... But as I thought about who might want this kind of service I then decided that the private schools might be where I want to attempt to advertise. I called a friend of mine whose children are in a private school and she works there. She let me come over and pick her brain which I was very grateful for. It at least got me thinking and brainstorming instead of just fussing.
Nonetheless, I still just felt so blue. Neil and I were trying to work some things out and come to some understandings and that wasn't going very smoothly. And I just didn't feel like eating any "FROG" what so ever!!!
I knew when I started this thats one I was very busy and I was going to have to be deliberate about making time to get things done. And I even knew challences would arise because Satan always tries to mess up our good intentions. Sigh.....
He arrived before the other salespeople arrived and that gave him and Neil some time to talk. He showed him the program and he was texting people about it before he even left the room. It was exciting to see his proactive way of going about things.
We then met with him and his brother the next day to see if it was something he's be interested in. It was great to see the enthusiasm and "go get 'em" attitude they had.
On Thursday as I ran about doing the Taxi driver thing and holding the appointments I had, I received an email on my phone just 30 mins before a Soroptimist "new member" meetings I was attending. I had 2 guests coming and wanted to be on my game. As I read the email I was a bit taken back. Let me step back and explain a few things. Currently a majority of the students I have are homeschool students that participate in programs connected with the state. By doing that they receive funding to help pay for classes, activities, books, learning programs etc.... That is how most of my students are thus paying me. But I was having the "World Language House" bill them. I was a teacher for the WLH and thus they bill the homeschool organizations and WLH keeps a cut for doing the paper work. I was teaching both classes at the WLH and private one on one classes. Back to the email.... I get an email from the WLH stating that my private students weren't covered under her liability insurance, so she wouldn't do the billing for me and all the work I'd done that month outside the WLH wouldn't be paid for and neither would any in the future. There was absolutely no discussion of options, phone call anything. It was dropped like a bomb and then an email went out to the parents directly after mine and so within 5 mins of getting the email I was getting phone calls from parents asking what was going on.
I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. These students mean the world to me and I put my heart into my work and love to see the kids develop their talents.
To make a long story short and went and confronted her face to face because I was so discussed with her lack of professionalism and sending this out as an email. She expressed her concerns basically accused me of not being qualified to do what I did and even questioned what it is I teach the students. This after helping her with her business for months for free.
I wanted so much to not let what she had said bother me, to just roll with it. I stopped and thought about each and every student I'd worked with. I knew the successes each had had. I knew the comments the parents had made and their feelings on the changes their children had made. I know I always can learn more and do better, but I also knew I had provided good service and made a difference. I had to slow down and digest and brainstorm. I watched several movies, ate too much chocolate and cried for 24-48 hours then put on my thinking cap.
I love working with homeschoolers and I can get licensed so that I can bill directly for the homeschoolers. That can all be "fixed" but I can go back and be paid for the work I've already done. Oh well...... But as I thought about who might want this kind of service I then decided that the private schools might be where I want to attempt to advertise. I called a friend of mine whose children are in a private school and she works there. She let me come over and pick her brain which I was very grateful for. It at least got me thinking and brainstorming instead of just fussing.
Nonetheless, I still just felt so blue. Neil and I were trying to work some things out and come to some understandings and that wasn't going very smoothly. And I just didn't feel like eating any "FROG" what so ever!!!
I knew when I started this thats one I was very busy and I was going to have to be deliberate about making time to get things done. And I even knew challences would arise because Satan always tries to mess up our good intentions. Sigh.....
Monday, October 25, 2010
Day 8
I'm so excited I started my day off right with exercise!! I wanted to last week and just wasn't making it happen. I've been off my groove but want to run the 5K on Thanksgiving. So I set a goal for myself this morning of running one mile without stopping and I did it!! I really needed that "little success." 3.1 miles, here I come!!!
Then I came home and turned into "ugly mom." Dang it and the day started out so well. I ran Abi to school then came home to pick up Porter and Hayden for their schools. I asked Porter to grab his history book so I could make some copies while I waited for him. He grabbed last years, (seriously????) and then couldn't find this years. I just lost it. One I was mad at him for just flat out not knowing where his materials were and frustrated because I was trying to be organized and proactive and it wasn't working the way I'd hoped. We went up to his room which was such a disaster. We looked for it and couldn't find it so I told him he'd have to miss karate and we needed to get this room and his schooling better under control.
He was not happy about missing Karate and tore in his room. It was about time. I decided that his room just wasn't functioning well. He has a full size bed that he doesn't want to share with Hayden and a dresser that is falling apart. I'd got a check unexpectedly from a mixed up tax return and some money from students so I didn't need to take much out of our account to go and buy the boys the bunk beds they'd been needing. I had already been looking, so I marched in the store, told them exactly what I wanted and bought what the boys needed. I felt like I'd bit the head off that dang frog and was close to downing the rest of him. I'm starting to just attack projects and it feels great. The boys are so excited!!
I picked up Hayden from school, took the kids to Chinese, picked up guitar picks and bought a bunk bed and dresser all in about 90 mins. I then met with one of my students and got a phone call while I was with him.
It was a mom of one of my other students, I asked her if everything was ok, and she said not really. I told her I'd call her back. Do you ever have times in your life when someone elses challenges help you figure out your own? I knew I wasn't doing a very good job following up with Porter and wasnt' exactly sure how to handle it. This mom was telling me about her daughter and the challenges she was facing. As I talked to her and discussed some possible solutions, it helped me figure out what to do for Porter. I started sharing with her some things I'd learned on leadership. Are you all ready for a whole new list of books, LOL!!?? The first one I love is called "Bringing out the best in others." It teaches that people will do what ever it takes to get attention. But the worst thing we can do to any human being is to no feedback at all. It is better to give negative feedback than none. In fact it is used as a torture method, put someone in a room with no lights, no stimulation and no human contact and they will snap far faster than someone being physically tortured.
As we talked I shared with her how she needed to not react at all when she was doing something that would constitute a normal negative response, but give her a system for getting a positive response and respond big then when she did accomplish "X." So for example, if she does her math homework sloppy, just ask her to re-do it until it's done right with not reaction and then when it is, sing her praises. We also talked about that everyone needs different kinds of positive responses or love. Thus a discussion on the "5 love languages" began. If she understood what her language was, she might behave less needy she not constantly crave attention and affirmation.
As Abi has been in the dual language program, the last thing that clicked for her was the speaking part. I made a calendar for her with 1-5 in each box. Her teacher would then circle one of the numbers to represent he effort. After she earned so many points she got to pick a reward. We discussed this further and how important it is to praise "hard work" vs "intelligence or talent" because it has a huge impact on how they handle challenges as they arise. The one who knows they can work hard, stick to a challenge. The one who thinks they are "smart" will get easily discouraged when it no longer comes easily.
So, I decided for Porter I'd make him a chart and for each things he needs to accomplish each day he'll get a a score that reflects his efforts and we'd come up with a reward in the end. Of course, this is yet another habit that I have to create and follow up will be essential!! Luckily if the reward is big enough, they remember to bring the work and chart to you. I'm so grateful for the phone call today!!
One of the things on my list is to have the carpets cleaned. I love how the universe will help you when you are focused on your goals!! I got a knocked at the door and a gentleman was advertising for carpet cleaning, I invited him in and discussed what he could do for me and set a date for the cleaning!! Woo hoo, I can't wait! As we talked I learned more about his background. I shared with him what Neil does and told him that we were looking for salespeople. Him and possibly his brother are going to come to our business training tomorrow night. This gentleman had a MBA and had grown up on a farm. Thus he has the farming know how and is good at business. This could be a great fit. It will be fun to see how this turns out!
We carved pumpkins tonight and before I could do that, I did something I'm not good at, getting right up and cleaning the kitchen after dinner. It felt great to have it done and to not have to think about it the rest of the night. New habits, woo hoo.... just have to keep at it!!
I am proud of the fact that I tossed so much out this weekend the I filled the garbage can that was just emptied on Friday. Hmmmmm, maybe I should say I'm embarrassed to say I had that much to toss out, and quite frankly I know there is more to go!!! LOL
To bed I go so I can keep at those goals tomorrow. I hope you enjoy this week; carving pumpkins, making caramel apples, playing dress up and trick or treating!! This is my favorite time of the year!!
Then I came home and turned into "ugly mom." Dang it and the day started out so well. I ran Abi to school then came home to pick up Porter and Hayden for their schools. I asked Porter to grab his history book so I could make some copies while I waited for him. He grabbed last years, (seriously????) and then couldn't find this years. I just lost it. One I was mad at him for just flat out not knowing where his materials were and frustrated because I was trying to be organized and proactive and it wasn't working the way I'd hoped. We went up to his room which was such a disaster. We looked for it and couldn't find it so I told him he'd have to miss karate and we needed to get this room and his schooling better under control.
He was not happy about missing Karate and tore in his room. It was about time. I decided that his room just wasn't functioning well. He has a full size bed that he doesn't want to share with Hayden and a dresser that is falling apart. I'd got a check unexpectedly from a mixed up tax return and some money from students so I didn't need to take much out of our account to go and buy the boys the bunk beds they'd been needing. I had already been looking, so I marched in the store, told them exactly what I wanted and bought what the boys needed. I felt like I'd bit the head off that dang frog and was close to downing the rest of him. I'm starting to just attack projects and it feels great. The boys are so excited!!
I picked up Hayden from school, took the kids to Chinese, picked up guitar picks and bought a bunk bed and dresser all in about 90 mins. I then met with one of my students and got a phone call while I was with him.
It was a mom of one of my other students, I asked her if everything was ok, and she said not really. I told her I'd call her back. Do you ever have times in your life when someone elses challenges help you figure out your own? I knew I wasn't doing a very good job following up with Porter and wasnt' exactly sure how to handle it. This mom was telling me about her daughter and the challenges she was facing. As I talked to her and discussed some possible solutions, it helped me figure out what to do for Porter. I started sharing with her some things I'd learned on leadership. Are you all ready for a whole new list of books, LOL!!?? The first one I love is called "Bringing out the best in others." It teaches that people will do what ever it takes to get attention. But the worst thing we can do to any human being is to no feedback at all. It is better to give negative feedback than none. In fact it is used as a torture method, put someone in a room with no lights, no stimulation and no human contact and they will snap far faster than someone being physically tortured.
As we talked I shared with her how she needed to not react at all when she was doing something that would constitute a normal negative response, but give her a system for getting a positive response and respond big then when she did accomplish "X." So for example, if she does her math homework sloppy, just ask her to re-do it until it's done right with not reaction and then when it is, sing her praises. We also talked about that everyone needs different kinds of positive responses or love. Thus a discussion on the "5 love languages" began. If she understood what her language was, she might behave less needy she not constantly crave attention and affirmation.
As Abi has been in the dual language program, the last thing that clicked for her was the speaking part. I made a calendar for her with 1-5 in each box. Her teacher would then circle one of the numbers to represent he effort. After she earned so many points she got to pick a reward. We discussed this further and how important it is to praise "hard work" vs "intelligence or talent" because it has a huge impact on how they handle challenges as they arise. The one who knows they can work hard, stick to a challenge. The one who thinks they are "smart" will get easily discouraged when it no longer comes easily.
So, I decided for Porter I'd make him a chart and for each things he needs to accomplish each day he'll get a a score that reflects his efforts and we'd come up with a reward in the end. Of course, this is yet another habit that I have to create and follow up will be essential!! Luckily if the reward is big enough, they remember to bring the work and chart to you. I'm so grateful for the phone call today!!
One of the things on my list is to have the carpets cleaned. I love how the universe will help you when you are focused on your goals!! I got a knocked at the door and a gentleman was advertising for carpet cleaning, I invited him in and discussed what he could do for me and set a date for the cleaning!! Woo hoo, I can't wait! As we talked I learned more about his background. I shared with him what Neil does and told him that we were looking for salespeople. Him and possibly his brother are going to come to our business training tomorrow night. This gentleman had a MBA and had grown up on a farm. Thus he has the farming know how and is good at business. This could be a great fit. It will be fun to see how this turns out!
We carved pumpkins tonight and before I could do that, I did something I'm not good at, getting right up and cleaning the kitchen after dinner. It felt great to have it done and to not have to think about it the rest of the night. New habits, woo hoo.... just have to keep at it!!
I am proud of the fact that I tossed so much out this weekend the I filled the garbage can that was just emptied on Friday. Hmmmmm, maybe I should say I'm embarrassed to say I had that much to toss out, and quite frankly I know there is more to go!!! LOL
To bed I go so I can keep at those goals tomorrow. I hope you enjoy this week; carving pumpkins, making caramel apples, playing dress up and trick or treating!! This is my favorite time of the year!!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
systems and/or habits
One of my favorite books is called, "The Power of Focus." I have to give a thank you here. My dearest brother Matt bought and sent this book to me years ago. He is truly a great example and inspiration to me. He is one of the best!! I've poured over it so many times its starting to fall apart. So I was incredibly thrilled when I found "The Power of Focus for Women" the other day. I haven't gotten very far into, but the parts I did read were great. It even has a small comment on each chapter on "How men see it." I love it, it helps me to understand where they are coming from and how to better support them in their goals.
What I love about my job is how I teach people, any thing you want to do differently involves making changes. So many people are hard on themselves when they feel like they fail at starting a new exercise routine, a financial plan etc.... But creating a new habit is difficult and we can only stop a bad habit by replacing it with a new one. When one understands this, we can all be kinder to ourselves and simply take the time to learn the skills to make those changes.
My days are very full (as is everyone), so I desperately need to take my list of "to dos" and figure out if there is a specific time I can do each thing and make it a habit or what I can do to make some parts of my life a little more systematic.
The simple fact is that I have to start getting up earlier!! It just has to happen. So I'm so happy I've been able to stop watching TV because I have to get to bed earlier to make that happen. So I'm am part way there already.
Some areas of my life I want to create some systems/habits for;
-food prep
-house cleaning
-financial
-bill paying
-retirement preparation
-work - my business
-cleaning the car
-homeschooling
Just like everyone, there are some things I'm doing well in these areas and yet there are things I'd greatly like to improve on!!!
What I love about my job is how I teach people, any thing you want to do differently involves making changes. So many people are hard on themselves when they feel like they fail at starting a new exercise routine, a financial plan etc.... But creating a new habit is difficult and we can only stop a bad habit by replacing it with a new one. When one understands this, we can all be kinder to ourselves and simply take the time to learn the skills to make those changes.
My days are very full (as is everyone), so I desperately need to take my list of "to dos" and figure out if there is a specific time I can do each thing and make it a habit or what I can do to make some parts of my life a little more systematic.
The simple fact is that I have to start getting up earlier!! It just has to happen. So I'm so happy I've been able to stop watching TV because I have to get to bed earlier to make that happen. So I'm am part way there already.
Some areas of my life I want to create some systems/habits for;
-food prep
-house cleaning
-financial
-bill paying
-retirement preparation
-work - my business
-cleaning the car
-homeschooling
Just like everyone, there are some things I'm doing well in these areas and yet there are things I'd greatly like to improve on!!!
Day 7
The kids were sick so we stayed home from church. I took that time to keep working on my office. I made a bold decision and have chosen to finally get rid of all my Jewels by Park Lane supplies. I took a deep breath and tossed everything that was old and called a gal I knew who is selling and told her that if she'd just come and get them out of my house, she could have all my business supplies. Big sigh....... I really love working with my students and hope to find more and more students. Having this "maybe" career hanging in my office wasn't helping me go after my goals. I have an empty shelving unit now that I can work with.
I went through lots of paperwork that had been in piles. I don't know what I was thinking or rather not thinking. I've got to get some systems in place. I'm working on it and it feels good.
I updated my calendar between my phone and my computer, looked at my up-coming week, and list of things to do tonight. In addition, I make a menu plan and chore schedule for the kids. Now I've just got to get my self to keep doing this weekly!! I'm going to set myself an alarm on my phone and remind myself. It's all about habits!
Neil and I had an agreement to watch our favorite shows together on the weekends, so when he got home from his trip we watched football and Castle. Its a small thing, but I know I need to keep my word about stuff like that.
My week is so full, not only the days, but I have something scheduled every single night, but hopefully I'm a little more prepared. I've also written in time to keep working on my "regroup" and my Saturday is completely open. Bring on the new week!!
I went through lots of paperwork that had been in piles. I don't know what I was thinking or rather not thinking. I've got to get some systems in place. I'm working on it and it feels good.
I updated my calendar between my phone and my computer, looked at my up-coming week, and list of things to do tonight. In addition, I make a menu plan and chore schedule for the kids. Now I've just got to get my self to keep doing this weekly!! I'm going to set myself an alarm on my phone and remind myself. It's all about habits!
Neil and I had an agreement to watch our favorite shows together on the weekends, so when he got home from his trip we watched football and Castle. Its a small thing, but I know I need to keep my word about stuff like that.
My week is so full, not only the days, but I have something scheduled every single night, but hopefully I'm a little more prepared. I've also written in time to keep working on my "regroup" and my Saturday is completely open. Bring on the new week!!
The scrapbook supply delema
As much as I at one time loved to scrapbook and as much as I need a hobby and a creative outlet, it's just not going to be scrapbooking ever again. Well, I would actually like to do some online scrapbook booking and have books printed, but they definitely don't cost any more than the supplies do and I think after practicing it would take less time.
What I'd love to do is learn more about taking better and more creative pictures. I loved scrapbooking at one time and I love to look at others work! Its fun, creative and preserves memories. But I want to learn how to take a more captivating picture and worry less about the embellishments that go with it. That just where I'm at.
Now what do I do with all the stuff I'm accumulated. Scrapbooking and stamping has served me well in the past. I made a living with it, made lots of friends and even did some traveling because if it. I've got most of my stash at a discount, but I still have accumulated way too much stuff that I doubt highly I'll ever use or miss most of it. I want it out of my house. I seriously don't want to take the time to do a garage sale or ebay it. I wonder if Craig list is easier and/or faster. I'd love for someone to come buy the whole stash and they can ebay it to their hearts content etc... I have lots of stamps, stickers, paper, die cuts (fonts and shapes), embellishments, the list goes on! I think I'll start with getting in all in one spot and then think about advertising on Craig's list. If anyone has a better idea or even wants to take it off my hands, let me know.
I know I'll keep some of the paper, that I can use for dream boards with my students, but the rest needs to go.
Why do we hang on to stuff? There is nothing like going through a box, a drawer etc... and finding stuff we forget we ever had. Sometimes I think any box I haven't opened in the garage for over a year I should just toss without even looking inside. If I haven't needed if for a year, I probably won't ever need it. Hmmmm.... I have some tough love to do with myself.
What I'd love to do is learn more about taking better and more creative pictures. I loved scrapbooking at one time and I love to look at others work! Its fun, creative and preserves memories. But I want to learn how to take a more captivating picture and worry less about the embellishments that go with it. That just where I'm at.
Now what do I do with all the stuff I'm accumulated. Scrapbooking and stamping has served me well in the past. I made a living with it, made lots of friends and even did some traveling because if it. I've got most of my stash at a discount, but I still have accumulated way too much stuff that I doubt highly I'll ever use or miss most of it. I want it out of my house. I seriously don't want to take the time to do a garage sale or ebay it. I wonder if Craig list is easier and/or faster. I'd love for someone to come buy the whole stash and they can ebay it to their hearts content etc... I have lots of stamps, stickers, paper, die cuts (fonts and shapes), embellishments, the list goes on! I think I'll start with getting in all in one spot and then think about advertising on Craig's list. If anyone has a better idea or even wants to take it off my hands, let me know.
I know I'll keep some of the paper, that I can use for dream boards with my students, but the rest needs to go.
Why do we hang on to stuff? There is nothing like going through a box, a drawer etc... and finding stuff we forget we ever had. Sometimes I think any box I haven't opened in the garage for over a year I should just toss without even looking inside. If I haven't needed if for a year, I probably won't ever need it. Hmmmm.... I have some tough love to do with myself.
Day 6
An entire day with very few "have to dos!" I'm so excited. Abi has a ride to Nutcracker practice and I just have to pick her up. Time to get to work!!!!
My friend Bev had helped me get the stuff in my pantry all in Tupperware containers. The problem was I hadn't labeled any of the containers, so as I ran out of stuff, I'd forget what I was suppose to buy and replace it with. I also had some extra containers that I hadn't put stuff in yet and then boxes of stuff you get from Costco that never really fits very good anywhere. The pantry was a mess. Abi helped me and we started pulling everything out of it. It was now time to use my new fancy label maker!! Woo hoo.
Note to anyone buying a label maker that I'm discovered the hard way. Look to see the order the letters are in. This probably sounds simple enough and like a good idea, the letters are in order from A-Z. Well, I'm use to typing both on a computer and on my Blackberry. My fingers instantly go to where they think they should be on a keyboard and my brain does not think to look for them in alphabetical order. If I had it to do again, I'd buy a label maker with a keypad that's the same as a keyboard.
I labeled and filled and labeled and filled. It looks amazing!!! I'm just tickled pink with how it looks and how much easier it will be to find things now. I called Bev because I wanted some one to come "oohhh and awweee" with me over my accomplishment. She was so incredibly sweet, not only did she come humor me, she also brought me lunch and me with so other projects I was attacking in the kitchen. She stayed with the babies while I went to get Abi which was a huge help considering there was some paperwork I needed to turn in.
As Bev helped me I could help but feel a little humble. She was a friend I had taken the time to visit with earlier in the week. I was trying to decide how I'd felt about my decision. Part of my goal for the 30 days was to say "no" to pretty much anything that wasn't life threatening. No socializing and not feeling it was necessary to take on any service project that came my way. But one of the things I learned is that if I pick how and when I serve and chose to serve versus using it as an excuse to avoid my "need to do" list, then it all works out in the end. We don't always end up served by the person we served especially so immediately. I believe that much of life is a pay it forward kind of thing. We do a good deed and when we are in need of a good deed the person we need most will be there.
The kitchen counters are now cleaned off completely and I de-junked the top of the refrigerator. Why do people think they can just pile stuff there.
I then moved back to the office and kept working there. I have a 3 draw Rubbermaid container that had a bunch of stuff from one of my other lives, my scrap booking and stamping days. Seriously, what and I going to do with all these little zip lock bags, blank gift bags and other misc crap. The office is coming along. I need some really good ideas for filing. there is paperwork I'm just not sure how I want to sort and store. I just have to keep tackling one challenge at a time.
My friend Bev had helped me get the stuff in my pantry all in Tupperware containers. The problem was I hadn't labeled any of the containers, so as I ran out of stuff, I'd forget what I was suppose to buy and replace it with. I also had some extra containers that I hadn't put stuff in yet and then boxes of stuff you get from Costco that never really fits very good anywhere. The pantry was a mess. Abi helped me and we started pulling everything out of it. It was now time to use my new fancy label maker!! Woo hoo.
Note to anyone buying a label maker that I'm discovered the hard way. Look to see the order the letters are in. This probably sounds simple enough and like a good idea, the letters are in order from A-Z. Well, I'm use to typing both on a computer and on my Blackberry. My fingers instantly go to where they think they should be on a keyboard and my brain does not think to look for them in alphabetical order. If I had it to do again, I'd buy a label maker with a keypad that's the same as a keyboard.
I labeled and filled and labeled and filled. It looks amazing!!! I'm just tickled pink with how it looks and how much easier it will be to find things now. I called Bev because I wanted some one to come "oohhh and awweee" with me over my accomplishment. She was so incredibly sweet, not only did she come humor me, she also brought me lunch and me with so other projects I was attacking in the kitchen. She stayed with the babies while I went to get Abi which was a huge help considering there was some paperwork I needed to turn in.
As Bev helped me I could help but feel a little humble. She was a friend I had taken the time to visit with earlier in the week. I was trying to decide how I'd felt about my decision. Part of my goal for the 30 days was to say "no" to pretty much anything that wasn't life threatening. No socializing and not feeling it was necessary to take on any service project that came my way. But one of the things I learned is that if I pick how and when I serve and chose to serve versus using it as an excuse to avoid my "need to do" list, then it all works out in the end. We don't always end up served by the person we served especially so immediately. I believe that much of life is a pay it forward kind of thing. We do a good deed and when we are in need of a good deed the person we need most will be there.
The kitchen counters are now cleaned off completely and I de-junked the top of the refrigerator. Why do people think they can just pile stuff there.
I then moved back to the office and kept working there. I have a 3 draw Rubbermaid container that had a bunch of stuff from one of my other lives, my scrap booking and stamping days. Seriously, what and I going to do with all these little zip lock bags, blank gift bags and other misc crap. The office is coming along. I need some really good ideas for filing. there is paperwork I'm just not sure how I want to sort and store. I just have to keep tackling one challenge at a time.
Day 5
Neil has been working 12 + hour days for months now. It's just that time of year when you are in agriculture. I planned a weekend for him and Porter away. My dear friend let them take her camper and I found a great place where the boys could camp, golf and fish. I think its called Cascade Peaks if I remember right, in Randle, WA.
I busily got them ready on Friday morning by going shopping, packing etc... I had students coming at 2 and needed to pick Abi up from school and take her to dance at 3. I knew after that I could get to work!!!
I had thought about tearing into the upstairs, but the more I thought about it I decided the kitchen would become my project for a good part of the weekend. After finally getting home from dance, getting dinner and checking on Neil and Porter, I put Lexi to bed, and ran to McDonald's for some a diet Dr. Pepper. I thought if I could just stay up a good part of the night and work without kids under foot I'd get a lot done.
When we moved here I was still running a business and was pregnant 3 days later. So I didn't have the energy or time I needed when I unpacked in an orderly fashion. I've never been happy with the way I organized the kitchen and it's been making me crazy for a while. I started with the cupboard that had the spices and meds in it. Man I tossed a lot of stuff. That sure needed to be done long before now. I kept moving and was doing pretty good. I'd heard Lexi wake up once and fuss for a bit and I thought she'd gone back to sleep. I heard her again about midnight and decided I should go check on her. As soon as I opened the door I could smell she'd been sick. Curdled milk all in her hair and all over her bed. Poor girl.
I bathed her and sat on the couch with her and watched a movie until I thought she'd go back to sleep. It wasn't the way I hoped to end the day, but I still got a good start on the kitchen.
I busily got them ready on Friday morning by going shopping, packing etc... I had students coming at 2 and needed to pick Abi up from school and take her to dance at 3. I knew after that I could get to work!!!
I had thought about tearing into the upstairs, but the more I thought about it I decided the kitchen would become my project for a good part of the weekend. After finally getting home from dance, getting dinner and checking on Neil and Porter, I put Lexi to bed, and ran to McDonald's for some a diet Dr. Pepper. I thought if I could just stay up a good part of the night and work without kids under foot I'd get a lot done.
When we moved here I was still running a business and was pregnant 3 days later. So I didn't have the energy or time I needed when I unpacked in an orderly fashion. I've never been happy with the way I organized the kitchen and it's been making me crazy for a while. I started with the cupboard that had the spices and meds in it. Man I tossed a lot of stuff. That sure needed to be done long before now. I kept moving and was doing pretty good. I'd heard Lexi wake up once and fuss for a bit and I thought she'd gone back to sleep. I heard her again about midnight and decided I should go check on her. As soon as I opened the door I could smell she'd been sick. Curdled milk all in her hair and all over her bed. Poor girl.
I bathed her and sat on the couch with her and watched a movie until I thought she'd go back to sleep. It wasn't the way I hoped to end the day, but I still got a good start on the kitchen.
Weekly successes
I'm excited about how things are going and quite frankly very grateful for those of you following. It's like my own little support group. We all need someone to answer to now and then. I always joke there is a reason Weight Watchers makes so much money.
One small success that I'm happy to report is that I never once turned on the TV for my own personal enjoyment. As a baby sitter for the little ones, heck yeah!! Wish I could say I don't do that, but guilty!!! I didn't watch a single one of my nightly shows. This gave Neil and I a lot more time to talk and work through some things. It also gave me more time to work, helped me stay more focused and I went to bed at a better hour on the nights Neil and I didn't stay up talking.
I did make a deal with Neil that we could watch our shows on line on the weekend. He went out of town this weekend so I treated myself to Grey's Anatomy last night. It was great, less commercials and I didn't end up staying in front of the TV to just watching what ever came on next.
I learned I can live without Dancing with the Stars, Modern Family and Biggest Loser. That's a lot of hours saved and I'm happy to say I'm starting a new habit. This week should be easier and the next week even easier. It's all about creating successful habits.
One small success that I'm happy to report is that I never once turned on the TV for my own personal enjoyment. As a baby sitter for the little ones, heck yeah!! Wish I could say I don't do that, but guilty!!! I didn't watch a single one of my nightly shows. This gave Neil and I a lot more time to talk and work through some things. It also gave me more time to work, helped me stay more focused and I went to bed at a better hour on the nights Neil and I didn't stay up talking.
I did make a deal with Neil that we could watch our shows on line on the weekend. He went out of town this weekend so I treated myself to Grey's Anatomy last night. It was great, less commercials and I didn't end up staying in front of the TV to just watching what ever came on next.
I learned I can live without Dancing with the Stars, Modern Family and Biggest Loser. That's a lot of hours saved and I'm happy to say I'm starting a new habit. This week should be easier and the next week even easier. It's all about creating successful habits.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Day 4
I always think that on a Thursday when the older 2 kids are both in school I'll get lots done, but not today. Someone does pick up the kids for school, but then Abi is only at that school for an hour for Art and then goes to her regular school. So I take her there and then run the other little ones to a Garden music class. They love it. I have a goal to create 3 memories a day with my kids. One of today's memories was Lexi at Garden Music. We begun to sing a song that the kids had sung before, but I had no idea how well she had picked it up. Towards the end of the verse they say sshhhhh, Stop! She did it perfectly and sang it with such conviction. I couldn't help but have a good laugh because it was sooooo cute!!! She's hysterical. She loves to listen to the radio in the car. If she hears a song she likes she yells, "up, up!!" To turn it up. She can sing parts of "I got a feeling." I just can't get enough that kid!
After music I ran home popped brownies in the oven for the "Bunco for Bangladesh" fundraiser I was attending that evening, taught a student, had lunch with Neil, printed a coupon for a 8 week Life coach session as a give away then ran to pick up Porter and Abi from 2 different schools.
I was determined to get something done towards my 30 day regroup, so when I came home from picking up kids, I did have a half hour. I grabbed a garbage bag and filled it quickly with clothes I needed to clean out of my closet. I did something!! Woo hoo, I was thankful for that very small accomplishment. I ran Abi to her first French class, (yes I know, what am I thinking adding one more trip in the car and class to my schedule, but she's so excited) took the stuff to the hotel where the "Bunco for Bangladesh" fundraiser was being held and back to pick up Abi. I picked up Porter and took him to swimming and then went and attended the function.
For those of you who look for ways to change the world that are manageable as a mother and wife, the new group I belong to is "Soroptimist International" is a wonderful group that supports all sorts of things that better the lives of women all over the world. Being I was doing day 30 day, I truly wanted to just stay home and keep working, but I was already committed to this and really wanted to attend. I met some wonderful ladies and potential clients. It was a great night.
Still determined to accomplish something in my day, I stopped at Target on my way home and decided to look for storage containers. I'm still working on the "paper work" mess. I decided I wanted some cute containers that I could sort mail into categories and just let it accumulate through the year and then put in in one big envelop at the end of the year. One container will be for monthly bills like CC's and utilities. I also want those in one box because some many of those bills can be written off on our taxes. Another box for medical bills and insurance papers etc.... I think I can sort it quickly each day. I'm not a filer, so I think this will work for met mentally. My sister in law does something similar to this with her kids school work through the year. I did find some containers I liked and a label maker!! I came home and did do a little work in the office and tossed some stuff out. Hopefully all these little successes will keep adding up!!!
After music I ran home popped brownies in the oven for the "Bunco for Bangladesh" fundraiser I was attending that evening, taught a student, had lunch with Neil, printed a coupon for a 8 week Life coach session as a give away then ran to pick up Porter and Abi from 2 different schools.
I was determined to get something done towards my 30 day regroup, so when I came home from picking up kids, I did have a half hour. I grabbed a garbage bag and filled it quickly with clothes I needed to clean out of my closet. I did something!! Woo hoo, I was thankful for that very small accomplishment. I ran Abi to her first French class, (yes I know, what am I thinking adding one more trip in the car and class to my schedule, but she's so excited) took the stuff to the hotel where the "Bunco for Bangladesh" fundraiser was being held and back to pick up Abi. I picked up Porter and took him to swimming and then went and attended the function.
For those of you who look for ways to change the world that are manageable as a mother and wife, the new group I belong to is "Soroptimist International" is a wonderful group that supports all sorts of things that better the lives of women all over the world. Being I was doing day 30 day, I truly wanted to just stay home and keep working, but I was already committed to this and really wanted to attend. I met some wonderful ladies and potential clients. It was a great night.
Still determined to accomplish something in my day, I stopped at Target on my way home and decided to look for storage containers. I'm still working on the "paper work" mess. I decided I wanted some cute containers that I could sort mail into categories and just let it accumulate through the year and then put in in one big envelop at the end of the year. One container will be for monthly bills like CC's and utilities. I also want those in one box because some many of those bills can be written off on our taxes. Another box for medical bills and insurance papers etc.... I think I can sort it quickly each day. I'm not a filer, so I think this will work for met mentally. My sister in law does something similar to this with her kids school work through the year. I did find some containers I liked and a label maker!! I came home and did do a little work in the office and tossed some stuff out. Hopefully all these little successes will keep adding up!!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Day 3
Well, today I woke up desperately wanting to get that biggest frog eaten so it was over with, but dreading it so much I was having an anxiety attack. I got a B-shot, had some breakfast and prayed fervently that God would help me accomplish the things I so desired to do. As I prayed I was reminded of a different way to look at things that needed to be done, and to do all things in thanks. I started telling the Lord how grateful I was that we live where we do and have great medical care and that I would say thank you for each check I write for a medical bill. And I would continue that attitude as I paid bills and took care of things, that I am grateful I have an electricity bill, because that meant I had electricity etc.... I'm so blessed.
As I got moving I started to feel a little bit better. But then it was time to take Hayden to school and I could neither find Hayden's shoes or backpack. ugggggg..... This was not helping my anxiety and just felt like another example of why I needed to get my life in better order. I finally just took Hayden in flip flops and prayed he wouldn't need his backpack. As we got out of the car Hayden cried because he didn't have his backpack to carry in. I hate disappointing the kids, it breaks my heart.
I went home and got working on a few minor things that had dead lines today. I looked around the house and realized I needed to keep up the house along with this regroup project. I had clean clothes, sorted clothes piles and clothes in the washer so decided I'd do everything I could to finish that project and while they were washing/drying I'd attack the office/paperwork.
As I worked I started feeling better. I even found the backpack and shoes and took them to Hayden. They really don't like him wearing flip flops on the playground and I knew the last thing he did of the day was play outside so I ran is shoes to him and got to watch him enjoy playing.
Next I took Porter to Chinese and tickled Lexi all the way home to keep her awake so she's go down for a nap when we got home. Luckily we car pool so Porter had a ride home and I knew I had from 12:30 to 2 when I picked up Abi.
I looked up the accounts to find that one had less money than I thought and the other had more than I thought. The one with less was because Neil as usual told me what I wanted to hear. The one with more was because he hadn't paid all the bills. sigh...... I attacked the pile of unopened mail and continued to find surprises. The challenge is this always happens. I finally decide I better get honest with myself about finances etc... all to find out that Neil hasn't been telling me all the facts. I knew there was a good chance of this happening. I didn't want to have the same yelling match and for that matter I just didn't feel as mad as I usually do. If I want it different then I have to decide to do it myself. I've got to chose to take the blinders off. I still haven't decided if I'm going to even tell him the things I know that aren't done or things he said he did a certain way and clearly didn't. I'm just sick of fighting. He knows lying breaks my heart. I'm just so dang tired of feeling like I'm just not worth his while to tell me the truth or share with me what is really going on. He has no idea how or desire to work together on this sort of thing. So I've just got to suck it up, I wish I didn't take it so personal.
I got through a huge chunk of the mail and as much as I didn't like the activity, I felt good I'd at least worked on it. I also kept on the laundry and pretty much washed everything but what the kids were wearing. I've about got it all folded, I just need to finish putting it away.
I'm glad the night ended with some accomplishment, I wish I didn't feel in a funk because of it. It probably sounds crazy, but I'm looking forward to cleaning out closets and bedrooms where hopefully that will just be manual labor and there won't be emotion issues attached to that project. I am avoiding the garage because I'm quite certain there are mice in there and I've asked Neil to take care of it and he hasn't. I guess it's time to head to Walmart and get what I need to take care of it myself.
I unfortunately I had a hard reality check tonight. I needed to submit the kids homeschool reports. I asked Porter to bring down his work and I quickly discovered that he's behind. I haven't followed up as well as I should. I knew I needed to make a better game plan, but it was a huge wake up call. Porter felt really bad, I did keep from yelling and took responsibility as the parent for not doing the follow up as well as I should have. Deep breaths, tomorrow is another day!
Tomorrow is another day full of appointments. If I get to bed earlier maybe I'll have the motivation to finally exercise and do some projects before I have my first one. I'm have to remember I'm going to feel so good as I can check off these 'frogs.'
I did read a scripture this morning that helped me: Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth. I really needed that this morning and realized I needed to rely more heavily on my Father in Heaven. He knows the good things I'm trying to do, He loves these 4 beautiful children even more than I do, and He understands Neil's heart better than I do. If I ask in faith He'll help me.
It made me recall another time in my life when I was very busy. As a sophomore in high school my first semester I was doing color guard at 6 am, (so would get up at 4:30 to get there), attended school all day, did drivers ed after school and then had play practice until 10 pm. I also had quite challenging and time consuming classes. To top it off we went to Vegas the weekend of my 16th birthday to compete in a band and color guard competition. I slept all the way there, anytime we weren't performing and all the way home. I almost none of the trip because I slept through so much of it. I know our bus even got in a fender bender on the strip and I slept through that too. I was exhausted!! I remembered praying the the Lord would help me get it all done. When the semester ended and I finished my last large school assignment I bore my testimony in church the following fast Sunday and told my little story about the Lord helping me. I remember my mom commenting after and saying "I wondered how you were getting everything done."
I don't want to wish any of this time away. Luckily I've never been one to say, "when they are 'this age' it will be better..... etc... I adore the phase each of my children are in. I love to see them learn and grow. This morning after I finished reading my scriptures, Lexi came in with a book. I picked her up and read it to here knowing it would all work out if I did the things that mattered the most. She's such a delight and I'm trying to take her all in. She's growing so fast along with all of them!!!
As I got moving I started to feel a little bit better. But then it was time to take Hayden to school and I could neither find Hayden's shoes or backpack. ugggggg..... This was not helping my anxiety and just felt like another example of why I needed to get my life in better order. I finally just took Hayden in flip flops and prayed he wouldn't need his backpack. As we got out of the car Hayden cried because he didn't have his backpack to carry in. I hate disappointing the kids, it breaks my heart.
I went home and got working on a few minor things that had dead lines today. I looked around the house and realized I needed to keep up the house along with this regroup project. I had clean clothes, sorted clothes piles and clothes in the washer so decided I'd do everything I could to finish that project and while they were washing/drying I'd attack the office/paperwork.
As I worked I started feeling better. I even found the backpack and shoes and took them to Hayden. They really don't like him wearing flip flops on the playground and I knew the last thing he did of the day was play outside so I ran is shoes to him and got to watch him enjoy playing.
Next I took Porter to Chinese and tickled Lexi all the way home to keep her awake so she's go down for a nap when we got home. Luckily we car pool so Porter had a ride home and I knew I had from 12:30 to 2 when I picked up Abi.
I looked up the accounts to find that one had less money than I thought and the other had more than I thought. The one with less was because Neil as usual told me what I wanted to hear. The one with more was because he hadn't paid all the bills. sigh...... I attacked the pile of unopened mail and continued to find surprises. The challenge is this always happens. I finally decide I better get honest with myself about finances etc... all to find out that Neil hasn't been telling me all the facts. I knew there was a good chance of this happening. I didn't want to have the same yelling match and for that matter I just didn't feel as mad as I usually do. If I want it different then I have to decide to do it myself. I've got to chose to take the blinders off. I still haven't decided if I'm going to even tell him the things I know that aren't done or things he said he did a certain way and clearly didn't. I'm just sick of fighting. He knows lying breaks my heart. I'm just so dang tired of feeling like I'm just not worth his while to tell me the truth or share with me what is really going on. He has no idea how or desire to work together on this sort of thing. So I've just got to suck it up, I wish I didn't take it so personal.
I got through a huge chunk of the mail and as much as I didn't like the activity, I felt good I'd at least worked on it. I also kept on the laundry and pretty much washed everything but what the kids were wearing. I've about got it all folded, I just need to finish putting it away.
I'm glad the night ended with some accomplishment, I wish I didn't feel in a funk because of it. It probably sounds crazy, but I'm looking forward to cleaning out closets and bedrooms where hopefully that will just be manual labor and there won't be emotion issues attached to that project. I am avoiding the garage because I'm quite certain there are mice in there and I've asked Neil to take care of it and he hasn't. I guess it's time to head to Walmart and get what I need to take care of it myself.
I unfortunately I had a hard reality check tonight. I needed to submit the kids homeschool reports. I asked Porter to bring down his work and I quickly discovered that he's behind. I haven't followed up as well as I should. I knew I needed to make a better game plan, but it was a huge wake up call. Porter felt really bad, I did keep from yelling and took responsibility as the parent for not doing the follow up as well as I should have. Deep breaths, tomorrow is another day!
Tomorrow is another day full of appointments. If I get to bed earlier maybe I'll have the motivation to finally exercise and do some projects before I have my first one. I'm have to remember I'm going to feel so good as I can check off these 'frogs.'
I did read a scripture this morning that helped me: Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth. I really needed that this morning and realized I needed to rely more heavily on my Father in Heaven. He knows the good things I'm trying to do, He loves these 4 beautiful children even more than I do, and He understands Neil's heart better than I do. If I ask in faith He'll help me.
It made me recall another time in my life when I was very busy. As a sophomore in high school my first semester I was doing color guard at 6 am, (so would get up at 4:30 to get there), attended school all day, did drivers ed after school and then had play practice until 10 pm. I also had quite challenging and time consuming classes. To top it off we went to Vegas the weekend of my 16th birthday to compete in a band and color guard competition. I slept all the way there, anytime we weren't performing and all the way home. I almost none of the trip because I slept through so much of it. I know our bus even got in a fender bender on the strip and I slept through that too. I was exhausted!! I remembered praying the the Lord would help me get it all done. When the semester ended and I finished my last large school assignment I bore my testimony in church the following fast Sunday and told my little story about the Lord helping me. I remember my mom commenting after and saying "I wondered how you were getting everything done."
I don't want to wish any of this time away. Luckily I've never been one to say, "when they are 'this age' it will be better..... etc... I adore the phase each of my children are in. I love to see them learn and grow. This morning after I finished reading my scriptures, Lexi came in with a book. I picked her up and read it to here knowing it would all work out if I did the things that mattered the most. She's such a delight and I'm trying to take her all in. She's growing so fast along with all of them!!!
Day 2
Well, I should have looked at my calendar more closely. By the time Neil and I had a hashing out session that morning it was time to get in the shower, prep for a goal setting class, get to counseling, run girls to dance, etc... My day was just gone.
I was determined to get a bite out of my "biggest frog" which is my paperwork/finances. We are in the process of changing banks. So things like changing everything on line to be paid from the new to the old, direct deposit etc... all needs to be done. But there were some things I needed help with at the bank with both the business account and personal account. I made it to the bank before they closed and did get a few things figured out.
I had a friend I was concerned about who lived close to the bank, so I stopped on my way home to see her and at another friends to pick something up. There went the evening. I don't regret either visit, its just one of those things I was trying to not do for 30 days. Deep breaths and keep trying!!
I was determined to get a bite out of my "biggest frog" which is my paperwork/finances. We are in the process of changing banks. So things like changing everything on line to be paid from the new to the old, direct deposit etc... all needs to be done. But there were some things I needed help with at the bank with both the business account and personal account. I made it to the bank before they closed and did get a few things figured out.
I had a friend I was concerned about who lived close to the bank, so I stopped on my way home to see her and at another friends to pick something up. There went the evening. I don't regret either visit, its just one of those things I was trying to not do for 30 days. Deep breaths and keep trying!!
Day 1
I got through the book "Eat that Frog" and have some wonderful ideas on how to stay focused and to take a bite out of the things I'd really rather not do. So many of the ideas are how to stay focused and be productive in a "work" setting where there are no children to interrupt. I think maybe I'll rewrite the book for "moms" who are constantly interrupted and never have a large block of time to just keep to a task because someone has to be fed or picked up from somewhere. LOL
I'm thrilled because I was finally able to get my new ipod working. I needed to down load a newer version of itunes. That killed two birds with one stone. I can get a lot done with constant motivation so I love listening to my books and/or music while I work. But another one of my goals is to support Neil in his business. He wanted my old ipod to take in the truck with the business books he liked, so I got the ipod fully loaded with great books that will keep him motivated and not having to listen to my advice. Even thought it's the same advice as on the books, it seems to be received better from a different set of lips. LOL
I've added several new things to my "to do" list which isn't surprising as I've brainstormed about the different things I've wanted to accomplish.
I'm thrilled because I was finally able to get my new ipod working. I needed to down load a newer version of itunes. That killed two birds with one stone. I can get a lot done with constant motivation so I love listening to my books and/or music while I work. But another one of my goals is to support Neil in his business. He wanted my old ipod to take in the truck with the business books he liked, so I got the ipod fully loaded with great books that will keep him motivated and not having to listen to my advice. Even thought it's the same advice as on the books, it seems to be received better from a different set of lips. LOL
I've added several new things to my "to do" list which isn't surprising as I've brainstormed about the different things I've wanted to accomplish.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The goal
I would assume that we all have those things that just haunt us and we let hang over our heads because we avoid doing them. I have my stuff just as much as the next person. It would bug me at night and as I went about my daily activities.
I teach goal setting classes. I've started with some new students and as I was teaching them the thought occurred to me that I needed to set some new personal goals of my own and make sure that I was practicing what I preached.
As I do more often than not, I woke up at 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to get up and write some new goals. I went to my office and got to it. I made a list of about 10 goals. Some were goals I was excited about doing, others were "should" dos but quite frankly aren't things I like sending my time doing. But nonetheless, the list left me feeling rather overwhelmed and hopeless, "where would I find the time to accomplish any of these things? I keep myself incredibly busy." I went back to bed and didn't sleep much. The next day as I went about my daily activities I kept brainstorming about how I could accomplish my list of goals. I was having a great desire to accomplish all of them, even the "should do goals." On my list were things like organize my home and get on top of my finances. I knew enough to know that avoiding them was only making me feel worse despite home much I detest taking time to work on them. I also know that if I could create habits in both of those areas (like I teach others all the time) that it wouldn't hurt so bad after a couple weeks and quite frankly I'd feel much better over all.
As I brainstormed I began to think about, "what can I cut out so I could have time to work on these goals? Could I cut out anything for just a short time and get somethings done and feel better in the long run?" I looked at my calendar and daily activities and began to get really honest with myself about things I could live without and sacrifice for a short time. Anything from TV to FB to even things like lunch dates with friends. I also thought about things my husband and children could live without for a short time to then have a more sane and proactive mother; date nights, volunteering at school, etc..... As I became very honest and real with myself I decided that I could live without many things for 30 days. I'd tackle my projects and do the hard to feel so much better in the end. I knew some of the things I was giving up were even things I'd used as excuses to not get to some of the goals on my list. After all isn't it much more important to go have lunch with a friend than to clean a bathroom or deal with some medical bill. LOL I can sure justify myself, huh?
Its time to do a little less justifying and a lot more action.
Another thought I had in my slightly extreme plan was a technique I learned from a swim coach. He taught the kids that when they learn a new technique, they should "over learn it." Meaning that if you want to your arm to go half was across your body, practice by going all the way across. Then when you are doing it without thinking about it, you are more likely to hit the point of half way across. Extend past where you want to be in practice so you'll be at that more normal point in every day life. I decided that might be a good idea in this situation. If for 30 days I'd was totally focused on cleaning and making a financial plan, maybe in normal life I'll keep up my house and keep to the financial plan I make for myself.
I have a list of goals and with each goal I'd started with a new sheet of paper and written the steps and a list of things that need to be done in each area. I have goals that have to do with personal health (diet and exercise), being a more loving mother, getting my computer working more efficiently, etc....
The other mentality I'm trying to adopt is the idea of if you have a jar and you want to fit in big rocks, small rocks, pebbles and sand, you can fit it all in if you start with the biggest first and pore the sand in last. But pouring the sand in first definitely makes it hard to fit the rest in. So I'm looking at my lists and picking the big rocks and going down the list. I'm also going to listen to the book "Eat that Frog" (I think that's what it is called). I love daily motivation. I swear by it. Listening or reading a book on a subject you want to improve in daily will do wonders for you in accomplishing your goals. I also plan to look into some books on finances and organization during this 30 days.
I know this 30 days won't magically fix things. But I believe it will help me to being on a more straight path than the one I put myself on with all the curves and bends I choose to take to try and avoid certain responsibilities.
I teach goal setting classes. I've started with some new students and as I was teaching them the thought occurred to me that I needed to set some new personal goals of my own and make sure that I was practicing what I preached.
As I do more often than not, I woke up at 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to get up and write some new goals. I went to my office and got to it. I made a list of about 10 goals. Some were goals I was excited about doing, others were "should" dos but quite frankly aren't things I like sending my time doing. But nonetheless, the list left me feeling rather overwhelmed and hopeless, "where would I find the time to accomplish any of these things? I keep myself incredibly busy." I went back to bed and didn't sleep much. The next day as I went about my daily activities I kept brainstorming about how I could accomplish my list of goals. I was having a great desire to accomplish all of them, even the "should do goals." On my list were things like organize my home and get on top of my finances. I knew enough to know that avoiding them was only making me feel worse despite home much I detest taking time to work on them. I also know that if I could create habits in both of those areas (like I teach others all the time) that it wouldn't hurt so bad after a couple weeks and quite frankly I'd feel much better over all.
As I brainstormed I began to think about, "what can I cut out so I could have time to work on these goals? Could I cut out anything for just a short time and get somethings done and feel better in the long run?" I looked at my calendar and daily activities and began to get really honest with myself about things I could live without and sacrifice for a short time. Anything from TV to FB to even things like lunch dates with friends. I also thought about things my husband and children could live without for a short time to then have a more sane and proactive mother; date nights, volunteering at school, etc..... As I became very honest and real with myself I decided that I could live without many things for 30 days. I'd tackle my projects and do the hard to feel so much better in the end. I knew some of the things I was giving up were even things I'd used as excuses to not get to some of the goals on my list. After all isn't it much more important to go have lunch with a friend than to clean a bathroom or deal with some medical bill. LOL I can sure justify myself, huh?
Its time to do a little less justifying and a lot more action.
Another thought I had in my slightly extreme plan was a technique I learned from a swim coach. He taught the kids that when they learn a new technique, they should "over learn it." Meaning that if you want to your arm to go half was across your body, practice by going all the way across. Then when you are doing it without thinking about it, you are more likely to hit the point of half way across. Extend past where you want to be in practice so you'll be at that more normal point in every day life. I decided that might be a good idea in this situation. If for 30 days I'd was totally focused on cleaning and making a financial plan, maybe in normal life I'll keep up my house and keep to the financial plan I make for myself.
I have a list of goals and with each goal I'd started with a new sheet of paper and written the steps and a list of things that need to be done in each area. I have goals that have to do with personal health (diet and exercise), being a more loving mother, getting my computer working more efficiently, etc....
The other mentality I'm trying to adopt is the idea of if you have a jar and you want to fit in big rocks, small rocks, pebbles and sand, you can fit it all in if you start with the biggest first and pore the sand in last. But pouring the sand in first definitely makes it hard to fit the rest in. So I'm looking at my lists and picking the big rocks and going down the list. I'm also going to listen to the book "Eat that Frog" (I think that's what it is called). I love daily motivation. I swear by it. Listening or reading a book on a subject you want to improve in daily will do wonders for you in accomplishing your goals. I also plan to look into some books on finances and organization during this 30 days.
I know this 30 days won't magically fix things. But I believe it will help me to being on a more straight path than the one I put myself on with all the curves and bends I choose to take to try and avoid certain responsibilities.
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