I'm so excited I started my day off right with exercise!! I wanted to last week and just wasn't making it happen. I've been off my groove but want to run the 5K on Thanksgiving. So I set a goal for myself this morning of running one mile without stopping and I did it!! I really needed that "little success." 3.1 miles, here I come!!!
Then I came home and turned into "ugly mom." Dang it and the day started out so well. I ran Abi to school then came home to pick up Porter and Hayden for their schools. I asked Porter to grab his history book so I could make some copies while I waited for him. He grabbed last years, (seriously????) and then couldn't find this years. I just lost it. One I was mad at him for just flat out not knowing where his materials were and frustrated because I was trying to be organized and proactive and it wasn't working the way I'd hoped. We went up to his room which was such a disaster. We looked for it and couldn't find it so I told him he'd have to miss karate and we needed to get this room and his schooling better under control.
He was not happy about missing Karate and tore in his room. It was about time. I decided that his room just wasn't functioning well. He has a full size bed that he doesn't want to share with Hayden and a dresser that is falling apart. I'd got a check unexpectedly from a mixed up tax return and some money from students so I didn't need to take much out of our account to go and buy the boys the bunk beds they'd been needing. I had already been looking, so I marched in the store, told them exactly what I wanted and bought what the boys needed. I felt like I'd bit the head off that dang frog and was close to downing the rest of him. I'm starting to just attack projects and it feels great. The boys are so excited!!
I picked up Hayden from school, took the kids to Chinese, picked up guitar picks and bought a bunk bed and dresser all in about 90 mins. I then met with one of my students and got a phone call while I was with him.
It was a mom of one of my other students, I asked her if everything was ok, and she said not really. I told her I'd call her back. Do you ever have times in your life when someone elses challenges help you figure out your own? I knew I wasn't doing a very good job following up with Porter and wasnt' exactly sure how to handle it. This mom was telling me about her daughter and the challenges she was facing. As I talked to her and discussed some possible solutions, it helped me figure out what to do for Porter. I started sharing with her some things I'd learned on leadership. Are you all ready for a whole new list of books, LOL!!?? The first one I love is called "Bringing out the best in others." It teaches that people will do what ever it takes to get attention. But the worst thing we can do to any human being is to no feedback at all. It is better to give negative feedback than none. In fact it is used as a torture method, put someone in a room with no lights, no stimulation and no human contact and they will snap far faster than someone being physically tortured.
As we talked I shared with her how she needed to not react at all when she was doing something that would constitute a normal negative response, but give her a system for getting a positive response and respond big then when she did accomplish "X." So for example, if she does her math homework sloppy, just ask her to re-do it until it's done right with not reaction and then when it is, sing her praises. We also talked about that everyone needs different kinds of positive responses or love. Thus a discussion on the "5 love languages" began. If she understood what her language was, she might behave less needy she not constantly crave attention and affirmation.
As Abi has been in the dual language program, the last thing that clicked for her was the speaking part. I made a calendar for her with 1-5 in each box. Her teacher would then circle one of the numbers to represent he effort. After she earned so many points she got to pick a reward. We discussed this further and how important it is to praise "hard work" vs "intelligence or talent" because it has a huge impact on how they handle challenges as they arise. The one who knows they can work hard, stick to a challenge. The one who thinks they are "smart" will get easily discouraged when it no longer comes easily.
So, I decided for Porter I'd make him a chart and for each things he needs to accomplish each day he'll get a a score that reflects his efforts and we'd come up with a reward in the end. Of course, this is yet another habit that I have to create and follow up will be essential!! Luckily if the reward is big enough, they remember to bring the work and chart to you. I'm so grateful for the phone call today!!
One of the things on my list is to have the carpets cleaned. I love how the universe will help you when you are focused on your goals!! I got a knocked at the door and a gentleman was advertising for carpet cleaning, I invited him in and discussed what he could do for me and set a date for the cleaning!! Woo hoo, I can't wait! As we talked I learned more about his background. I shared with him what Neil does and told him that we were looking for salespeople. Him and possibly his brother are going to come to our business training tomorrow night. This gentleman had a MBA and had grown up on a farm. Thus he has the farming know how and is good at business. This could be a great fit. It will be fun to see how this turns out!
We carved pumpkins tonight and before I could do that, I did something I'm not good at, getting right up and cleaning the kitchen after dinner. It felt great to have it done and to not have to think about it the rest of the night. New habits, woo hoo.... just have to keep at it!!
I am proud of the fact that I tossed so much out this weekend the I filled the garbage can that was just emptied on Friday. Hmmmmm, maybe I should say I'm embarrassed to say I had that much to toss out, and quite frankly I know there is more to go!!! LOL
To bed I go so I can keep at those goals tomorrow. I hope you enjoy this week; carving pumpkins, making caramel apples, playing dress up and trick or treating!! This is my favorite time of the year!!
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